Negative self talk examples (with a worksheet to fix them)
Negative self talk is a habit that can be fixed
These negative self talk examples show you how hazardous and counterproductive negative self talk can be. It can sabotage your happiness and prosperity.
Repeated often enough, negative thought habits weaken your belief in yourself. Over time, those weakened beliefs create a scarcity mindset that blocks your abundance.
This guide will give you examples and explain how negative self talk occurs. I also provide a negative self talk worksheet to fix it.
In this guide to negative self talk examples, you will discover:
What is negative self talk? Examples show how the process works
Eliminate negative self talk with my Free Negative Self talk Worksheet
How negative self talk harms your mental health and happiness
Negative self talk examples and how they create a scarcity mindset: Diagram
Diagram: How your self talk determines your mindset
Final thoughts about negative self talk examples
What is negative self talk? Some examples to show how it is triggered
Negative self talk is your automatic thought reaction to triggers from thoughts, people and events.
Your self talk determines your attitude. If you have positive self talk you have a good attitude. If you have negative self talk you have a bad attitude
Here is how the self talk process works:
- Negative self talk starts with a triggering event, memory, person or place
- Your mind reacts to the event with an automatic negative emotional response
- If the trigger is strong enough, you will repeat or obsess the negative emotion. Even when the trigger is not present!
Let’s look at a common example of a trigger and your emotional reaction to it.
For this example, the trigger is: you feel slighted or ignored by a coworker.
This could cause an emotional reaction on several levels.
- Insecurity trigger: You may be triggered by insecurity to think “Why won’t she talk to me?”
- Envy trigger: You are triggered by envy to think “Why is Glen nice to Maggie but not to me?”
- Resentment trigger: You may have felt this emotion many times in the past, (founded or unfounded on the facts) and have developed a grudge
How Emotional Triggers program your negative reaction
Those insecurity, envy or resentment triggers can program you to react with a negative emotional thought whenever you see them.
An example of your negative self talk reaction might be “Oh she doesn’t like me” or ”What a snob she is.”
Then, even when you are away from work, you obsess. You think about them and repeat negative self talk. “What an ass she is!”
The problem this creates is that you are creating a boogeyman in your mind of how bad a person they are. When maybe they just have limited emotional expression of their own and are not a bad person.
This can escalate into hatred “She is really a bitch, I hate her.”
Do you see how your triggered reaction that was based on your own insecurity, resentment or envy can become a habit that consumes you?
To counter negative reactions you have, you want to strengthen your internal positive beliefs. My positive affirmations worksheet is a great resource to help you do this Try it now, its free.
Negative self talk is a bad habit, like overeating or smoking
Negative self talk is an automatic response to triggers, so it is a habit. A habit you can choose to eliminate.
The big problem with negative self talk habits is they can generate habits of limiting beliefs.
These are insecurity beliefs you have about yourself – and others. They can turn into an overall negative mindset over time.
They can color your entire life in a negative way. It can spread to all areas of your life, robbing you of happiness and abundance.
“She wont talk to me” becomes “No one loves me.” Or “I’ll always be lonely” or “It’s hopeless, I’ll never get a good job.”
It can even cause you to gain weight, as negative self-talk can lead to overeating.
I provide some examples of negatives self talk habits here. You will see how they can escalate into a scarcity mindset.
How to generate positive affirmations for work
If you are having problems with negative self talk at work, I have a specific resource, positive affirmations for work.
It can help you be proactive about dealing with work or finding a new career.
How negative self talk habits harm your mental health and happiness
If you have negative self talk, repeating it can cause you to develop negative beliefs. These beliefs are the source of your emotional conflict.
They will cause you to feel negative feelings about yourself and others including:
- Social anxiety
- Insecurity
- Low self-esteem
- Feelings of unworthiness
- Malaise
- Mistaken perceptions about the motives of other people. This causes you anger, arguments and fights
- Destruction of relationships that could otherwise be solid
- Creating boogeymen in your mind based on perceptions, not reality
- Depression
You want to eliminate negative self talk so you avoid these negative feelings and beliefs about yourself.
Let’s look a bit closer at how negative self thoughts occur, and some examples of how they can escalate over time into a negative or scarcity mindset.
Negative self talk examples Diagram: how repeated negative thoughts can create a scarcity mindset
This diagram of negative self talk examples shows you the 4 step sequence, from self talk habits to mindset.
It shows how responding to a trigger develops a negative mindset.
Follow the sequence for each example from left to right:
- It starts with an emotional trigger: we all have automatic emotional reactions to people, events, places, things, technology, etc. (internal and external stimuli)
- If you automatically react in a negative way to the trigger, you generate negative self talk
- Repeated negative self talk develops limiting beliefs, this weakens your belief in yourself
- Over time, those limiting beliefs transform you: you develop a catastrophic scarcity mindset that repels abundance and good relationships.
When you understand what is happening, you are better prepared to better deal with it.
Let’s look at these 4 steps in a bit more detail.
Step One: Triggers
In left column of diagram, you see how self talk is triggered by an event, person, place or thing
A trigger can happen in many ways, they are all around you. Looking into a mirror, hearing someone talk, looking for a job, hearing about a show you would like to go to, etc.
You may have been programmed or brainwashed by media slogans, social media, friends or school to develop imaginary boogeymen you must hate. So you unknowingly develop automatic negative reactions to those perceived boogeymen, people, politicians, influencers, races, countries etc. Even if they are someone or something you know nothing about!
The key is the way you respond to the triggers. You can respond in a positive way, a neutral way or you can respond in a negative way.
Let’s say you look in the mirror. You have a choice. You can train yourself to respond reactively – in a negative way. Or you can respond proactively – in a positive way.
Step Two: Automatic Response
You respond to trigger with an automatic reaction.
Your subconscious is a protective mind. It has developed over thousands of years to learn habits. This allows it to automatically respond quickly to outside stimuli.
If you have trained your mind to respond negatively to certain triggers, it will automatically react in a defensive way.
Step Three: Limiting beliefs develop, weakening your belief in yourself
In the third column, it shows how repeating negative self talk becomes a bad habit that spawns limiting beliefs.
This is the danger of having a habit of negative self talk: it can weaken your belief in yourself and sap your confidence.
Once you are afflicted with limiting beliefs, they in turn spin off more negative self talk.
Step Four: Scarcity Mindset takes hold
The fourth column shows how sets of limiting beliefs can harden into a scarcity mindset over time.
Once you develop sets of limiting beliefs in multiple areas of your life, you may transform your mindset into a negative or scarcity mindset
Sets of limiting beliefs can include many areas:
- Limiting beliefs about your looks
- Limiting beliefs about jobs and career prospects
- Limiting beliefs about your boss or co-workers
- Limiting beliefs about your ability to get into healthy shape
- Limiting beliefs about money and finances
After examining the 4 step process you now can see how a simple negative self thought can generate beliefs that limit you.
Taken together, these sets of beliefs can create an overall negative, hopeless mindset.
Diagram: How self talk creates a mindset that blocks abundance
Negative self talk affects you on many levels. Prolonged negative thought habits create negative beliefs about yourself and others.
Over time, these beliefs can harden into a scarcity mindset that blocks your abundance.
As we saw, positive self talk generates positive beliefs about yourself. Negative self talk (bad attitude) generates lack of belief in yourself.
The right side of this diagram shows this:
- Negative self talk generates a bad attitude
- Over time, your bad attitude creates negative and limiting beliefs that color your perspective of the world and how people see you
- This creates a scarcity mindset that BLOCKS your abundance
Important to remember that negative self talk to yourself, eventually emanates outward to the universe, blocking your abundance.
I hope you can grasp how serious negative self thoughts are, and how important it is to ‘kick the habit’ of negative self talk.
Positive self talk resources
One of the best ways to eliminate negative self talk is with positive self talk.
I provide a good resource for this, called positive self talk quotes. Give it a try.
Final thoughts about these negative self thoughts examples
I hope looking at these examples of negative self talk has increased your confidence in your ability to overcome them.
Now that you understand how they operate, are you ready to tackle them?
Take heart, you can eliminate negative self-talk habits. There is a process you can follow.
Of course, changing any habit requires some effort and repetition, but it can be done.
You abundance and prosperity await!
Has negative self talk blocked your Career Abundance?
Positive affirmations and eliminating limiting beliefs are an important tool to end negative self talk.
Because they can be difficult for most of us to tackle by ourselves, I include them in all my coached courses and workshops.
Has negative self talk prevented you from finding career abundance? I have a home study program that identifies your career destiny, regardless of your experience, work background or education.
My Define Your Career Destiny one week home study course is a career self assessment. It guides you step-by-step to find the career or business you are meant for. Guided by a hands on career discovery coach, you get your best results.
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Note: This guide is written by a real human, synthesizing 25+ years experience and research to provide you a solution.
It was not written by an A.I. bot that ‘covers all the bases’ by rehashing other articles, yet comes to no human-helpful conclusions.
About the author:
Larry LaFata is founder of defineyourcareer.com, and a Career Discovery Coach.
He is dedicated to help you discover your Career Destiny, regardless of your background, education or experience.
Larry’s innovative courses include:
- Define Your Career Destiny a one week home study course
- Career Destiny Workshop for Friends, a two hour online business discovery workshop guided by a career discovery coach
- Career Development Planning Workshops
